How To Relieve Parenting Stress During This Tough Time
COVID 19, a new strain of Coronavirus, is spreading like wildfire all over the world. This virus has already infected millions and has taken lives of more than 100,000 individuals as of writing. For this reason, schools and offices have closed to try to contain it from spreading any further.
All this has changed our lives. Parents like us are forced to work from home while teaching our children. In addition, we need to temporarily cut off people from our lives no matter how difficult this may be.
Whether we like it or not, this is our new normal. However, being “locked” within the four corners of the home is already causing stress to us parents. How much more for the kids?
Honestly, it has been causing strain in our relationship. My mom friends tell me the same stories specially when the lockdown was still starting. Here’s our collective tip to manage parenting stress.
DON’T BE AFRAID TO TALK ABOUT THE VIRUS
The children might have already heard a little bit about COVID-19 so tell them what you know. The more you hide it, the more the kids will force their way to go out of the house. Believe me, we’ve had a lot of fights about this at first because I kept some details hidden from my kid.
But when we had a serious talk, he understood the need to say indoors. I encouraged him to ask as many questions as he wants and I diligently answered them. I was transparent and I did not hesitate to tell him that I don’t know everything.
At some point, your child or children will feel anxiety over this pandemic. This is a normal reaction as we are bombarded with news and updates about the virus daily. The best thing to do about this is to check your child and ask about his or her feelings. Tell them that you can talk anytime and you are doing the best that you can so the family stays safe. After which, do something fun to keep his mind off this feared pandemic.
ONE-ON-ONE
I only have one child so I have no problems with this. My friends, on the other hand, came up with this to stop their kids from fighting.
Since everyone is already staying at home, parents should make the best of it by spending some alone time with each kid. Ask them what they want to do during the lockdown. Some suggestions they got were reading books, dancing, singing, spending some time in the yard (gated yard, by the way), playing video games, and even arts and crafts.
Other parents grabbed this opportunity to teach their kids new skills such as cooking, gardening, painting, and more.
They noticed that children were happier in the days that followed. They felt a change in their relationship as their children felt loved and heard compared to when they were all busy with work and house chores.
Doing this also makes children feel secured. Because of this quality time spent, they feel important and less afraid.
FOCUS ON THE POSITIVES
Kids can get crazy when they can’t get out of the house. Parents often call kids out when they are throwing tantrums and misbehaving. This technique actually backfires and parents end up having to yell more.
The best way to address this issue is to focus on your kids’ good behavior. For instance, praise your child when he helps you fold the laundry. This will make the child feel that you can actually see him. This tells them that you care about what they do and that you acknowledge their good deeds.
Another thing is to manage your expectations. For example, don’t expect your 3-year old kid to be quiet all day long because that is just impossible. You are only setting yourself up for disappointment. I learned this the hard way.
Think about what is achievable. In my kid’s case, I only expected him to stay silent when I have brief calls. And when I know that my meeting will take long, I hide in the room for some peace and quiet.
REDIRECT ATTENTION
Children often misbehave when they are bored, tired, or hungry. This is really annoying. I know because my 3-year old little boy acts out a lot. What I usually do at first is distract him. For instance, I say “Look at that!” or “Oh! What’s that?” This is really effective because he suddenly forgets what he is angry about. Lame? I know, but this works well for me.
This tactic does not work sometimes. When this happens and he keeps misbehaving, I yell at him. This causes more fights so I learned that keeping it cool is way more powerful. I slowly count up to 10 before responding to my kiddo. Breathe in, breathe out. I only respond to my kid when I feel calm and collected.
There are rough days and those two techniques won’t work. This is the time when I give consequences. I give him a chance to do what needs to be done, and when he still does not follow, I lay down the consequence.
After which, I give him another chance to redeem himself - to do something good. I praise him after his good deed so he is aware that I still love him.
FOLLOW A SCHEDULE
Kids thrive on routines so following a schedule greatly helps - just like when they are in school. Let them plan the activities for the day.
Don’t forget to include exercises to strengthen your body and lungs (and to release all the pent up energy). Incorporate proper hand washing to your routine too.
MANAGE STRESS
This can be a stressful time for kids, and most specially for parents. Parents, in particular, feel a heavy burden as kids rely on you for comfort and reassurance that everything will be okay.
The usual grocery run (that I used to love because this is my me time) becomes an anxiety-inducing activity. I am honestly scared for my family everyday. With these thoughts in my head, how will I be able to assure them that things will be okay eventually?
I find that taking some time off to de-stress can help recharge and go back to being the superparent that we are. To manage my stress, I meditate or take 5 minutes off to drink my cocoa (because I am not a coffee person). You can do anything that relaxes you.
After this short break, you will feel better and well-equipped to handle your misbehaving kids, and comfort everyone in the family.
I hope that with these tips, we can help everyone manage parenting stress during this tough time. Good luck. We got this!
Elkyra Park is a first-time mom who can no longer count how many baby products she has reviewed for her sanity and her son's sake. She discusses about the realities of parenthood and how to gracefully cope with the struggles over at www.easyparentinghacks.com